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Wednesday, May 10, 2006

 
One More River to Cross

The latest self-approval ratings are out for Online Blogintegrity, and the numbers are gratifying: 100% of us are glutinous with self-approbation.

That’s what happens when you eschew flirting, and incivility, and Deleuzian nomadology, and the rest of the sins to which the liberal flesh is heir.

But is this really good enough? Should we settle for being smug, when with a little more effort we might find reason to become insufferably smug?

Not on your motherfucking tintype, as the saying is. That’s why I’m going to up the ante, by announcing my nonpartisan, nonideological commitment to irrefragable moral excellence.

In practical terms, this means that I’ll refrain - on principle - from hacking into the sites of my political enemies and posting photos of anal creampies.

Granted, hacking is illegal. And to be quite honest, I’d have no idea of how to go about it even if I wanted to. All the same, I believe that in this wrenching act of renunciation, I’ll make Tolstoy’s Prince Nekhlyudov look like Helen Chenoweth.

I hope you’ll all join me in my commitment to clean living and fair play. But if you choose not to, that’s perfectly OK. Like spirochetes, tse-tse flies, and the boonie dogs of Guam, untermenschen like yourselves have their humble place in the Great Chain of Being. And if you truly find the stench of a cesspit sweeter than attar of roses, far be it from me to drag you from your faeculent womb.

Comments:
I don't know if I can get behind your refusal to post about anal creampies. However, I will say that I'll refrain--on principle--from every playing Dueling Banjos nekkid. That's just how Morally Upright and Integritous I am.
 
Well, I do no know about the number of hits, but Blogintegrity has like 3 times the number of posts as WankerIntegrity.com.

and why does blogger CREATE a new identity for me rather than letting me sign in?

rrrumblegrumblmalditobloggytheengmumblerumblesogrumblemumblegrrumble


so.
 
Indeed. We may need to update the Statement of Principles to include the Guam dogs and stuff.
 
We are so much better than the other guys. Maybe we're real and they're the parody?
 
I, for one, welcome our new anal creampie overlords.

Obeyance macht freiheit!
 
There is smugness to be seen in these comments, to be sure.

But I detect a noticable lack of insufferability.

The proprietors have some work to do.
 
Piffle.
 
Mmmm... piffle....
 
Hey, how come I'm not blogrolled?

Sheesh.
 
I know I've been busy and all, but I'm kind of depressed that no one invited me to have integrity and all.

Just cause I'm a centaur. I must go away and pout now.
 
4Legs,

If you can somehow unscramble that nude photo, I think I can get you into this exclusive club...
 
¿What ees thees how-joo-say "peefle" of wheech joo speak, eh?

¿ Ees eet thees "peefle" wheech causes the insufferability?
 
it's all true.

my horse is so high I get nose bleeds regularly.
 
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