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Friday, July 07, 2006

July 4th Backwash

(Right-click, open in new window for dramatic background music while you read)

And, so, the outcry drags ever on.... Not content to paint the New York Times as an organization run by traitors, for traitors, the right-wing nutjobs are again up in arms. The latest target? Hollywood...

Michelle Malkin:
Harrison Ford and Wolfgang Petersen should be shot on sight! I have never seen such blatant disregard for the safety of the President. Why, they practically showed the entire layout of Air Force One - the number of weapons, the locations of the bathrooms, the fax machine model. I urge all my readers to look for Harrison Ford and harass him! Harass harass harass!!!
Ann Coulter:
Is it any surprise that liberal Hollywood has decided to endanger the President by revealing the most sensitive secrets about Air Force One? No, it's not! Someone should kill Wolfgang Petersen and bring his blood to me.

Pam (Atlas Shrugs):
How dare they?!? How dare they?!? This was top-secret, classified information! They are putting our troops in Iraq in mortal danger! How dare they?!?

Glenn Reynolds:
I'm flabbergasted! I cannot believe that even liberal Hollywood would stoop so low and give Al Qaeda this information. Not only that, George W. Bush would never say, 'Get off my plane!' - he'd tell that terrorist to stay right there and fight. Then he'd kick the terrorist's ass!
Republican Senators were quick to support a bill, authored by Joe Lieberman (D-CT), condemning Hollywood for its release of Air Force One.
What was once a valuable and stealthy mode of transportation for the President, his aides and family, has now become the desktop wallpaper of every computer on the Al Qaeda computer network. By revealing the name (Air Force One) and description (large aircraft with Presidential seal and United States of America logos) to the enemy, liberal Hollywood has put every American at risk, especially those Americans who purchased the commemorative Air Force One bomber jackets. It is the sense of the Senate that Air Force One, Harrison Ford and Wolfgang Petersen should be condemned for their lack of patriotism and their outright treason. In addition, we find Glenn Close a bit sassy in this movie.
The outrage continues as conservatives lash out against the Tom Hanks/Steven Spielberg collaboration:

Jeff Goldstein:
They've effectively given away all of our Special Forces training programs, going back to WWII. I'd like to slap my dick across liberal Hollywood's face, then tell them that I just slapped my dick across their faces and see the look on their faces when I tell them that. Does anyone have Tom Hanks' address? I'll quote you in boldface.
Charles Krauthammer:
I can't imagine living in an America with subversives, like Steven Spielberg, who will give away our tactical tactics just to make a dollar. Why would they tell Al Qaeda that our troops use helmets and rifles? It's shameful. I'm a psychiatrist - you can trust me.
Pam (Atlas Shrugs):
How dare they?!? How dare they?!? This was top-secret, classified information! They are putting Easy Company in mortal danger! How dare they?!?

You'd think they'd be out of outrage. But you'd be wrong...

Michelle Malkin:
First of all, women don't belong in the Army Seals. Second, liberal Hollywood has just told Al Qaeda that the Army Seals use women as diversions. Does anyone have Demi Moore's address? I'll blogroll you.
Wall Street Journal:
While women are certainly an asset to America, they obviously require much more maintenance (read: defense funds) when they serve in the Military. Liberal Hollywood is doing a disservice to America by encouraging women to serve in the military. America would be better served if more women worked in the secret SWIFT monitoring program, which we've detailed on the front page, just below the MBNA ad... no, further down... now left... that's it - read that one...
Pam (Atlas Shrugs):
How dare they?!? How dare they?!? This was top-secret, classified information! They are putting the Air Force Seals in mortal danger! How dare they?!?
Jeff Goldstein:
I'd like to slap my dick across Demi Moore's face!! Does anyone have Ashton Kutcher's address?

Well, that's about all the outrage I can handle for one nite.

¿Simplemente brillante!

Thees post, she must be how-joo-say blogwhored, and soon.

Expect to be eaten by gerbils.
-Liddy Dole
All right, I did post the street address of the White House on a couple of the Internets, but it was an accident!

I got grounded for two weeks, so don't bother killing me,
Capt. Twelve A.M. Midnight, E.S.T., C.E.

I must say, you have uncovered some shocking shockitudiousness.
That is pretty damn scary!
I was boggled when I read the Malkin quote my first thought, 'She really said that!'

Scary when parody and reality collide.

Good stuff, Ripley!
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