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Friday, March 23, 2007


Becky the Calico: Transcript

Last Monday, ¡El Gato Negro! wrote about how the traditional media can best begin to show respect for la blogsfera.
(Stossel, that litterbox weel no clean eetself, joo know.)

At the end of the post I offered what I felt was an insructive visual metaphor for the relationsheep between the traditional media and la blogsfera.

Thees involved a brief run-in between one Kathleen Cochrane, a reporter for Cleveland FOX affiliate WJW, and Becky, a Calico Cat weeth some strongly held views.
That wheech makes thees piece a perfect example of the media/blog dynamic ees made a leetle more clear when joo take into account not just what was said by Ms. Cochrane, but also the statements Becky made throughout the piece.

I know that thees was promised for earlier een the week, yet due to an extended bout of hairballs, I was unable to provide the full transcript of the encounter until today, but I am certain joo weel find eet an enlightening read for a Friday.


-Female News Presenter: "Hi, everybody, thank you for joining us tonight. (camera change)
Jail is not enough for the judge who sentenced the pair on animal abuse charges."

-Male News Presenter: "Fox News Reporter Kathleen Cochrane, live in Russell Township-"

(camera shows Kathleen Holding Becky)

-Becky the Calico: "-ust want it on the record that this is under duress."

-Male News Presenter: "-has the details."

-Becky the Calico: "Please, let me go!"

-Kathleen Cochrane: "Hi, Bill and Stacy, well, the couple is accused of throwing two cats like this one here -"
(Kathleen hefts Becky the Calico, and jiggles Becky like the cat was a human child (Cats hate thees-egn))

-Becky the Calico: (looking directly at Ms. Cochrane) "Set me down! Who are you people?"

-Kathleen Cochrane: (overtalking) "-out of their car and killing them."

-Becky the Calico: "They did WHAT!? Oh my god! I have to get away from these lunatics!"

-Kathleen Cochrane: (overtalking again) "Now, as part of their sentence- this little guy (sic) is having fun-"

-Becky the Calico: (looking directly at floor, reaching down towards floor with her paws) "Please let me down, please?"

-Kathleen Cochrane: (still overtalking)- "having fun. But now, as part of their sentence, the couple is going to have to come right-"

-Becky the Calico: (fed up) "I said unhand me foul news creature!" (lunges towards Kathleen Cochrane's face)


-Kathleen Cochrane: (drops Becky, makes tiny noise) "ooooooerp!" (looks at camera for half a second, then bursts into tears)

-(Brief moment of silence as camera switches to shot of the floor of the shelter entrance, Becky the Calico is trying to claw the door open to get back inside, then camera switches back to Kathleen)-

-Kathleen Cochrane: (arms crossed protectively over chest for rest of piece)
"Well, there are lots of cats here. All of them are nice, y'know? And, honestly it's just my luck that something like that would happen. I'm obviously not a cat person. But the people here do say that they are looking forward to the people coming in and hope that they can leave here withsome type of education. You know, I had been holding that cat, everything had been going well until right when we came on the air, but I'm fine. Maybe just a little... scratches" (sic).

-Male News Presenter: "Uh, you know about reporters and animals, and that will end up on a reel for some reason."

-Kathleen Cochrane: "Oh, no kidding, that was like an out of body experience, how embarrassing."

-Female News Presenter: (suppressing a smile) "No, we're glad you're OK, that's all that matters."

-Male News Presenter: (suppressing smile) "Thanks, Kathleen."

-Kathleen Cochrane: (voice breaking) "I'm just fine." (gives half-hearted "thumbs-up" gesture)

-Female News Presenter: (suppressing smile) "Thanks."

-Kathleen Cochrane: (arms crossed protectively over chest) "Thanks."

Amigos, I theenk the lesson here ees that eef reporters do no pay attention to what ees going on right een front of them, they may become the story themselves, eh?

**¡Koff! ¡Koff!** ¡Hrnrnrnrnrnrnrrrrnnn! ¡Koff-Koff! ¡Kinsley! **Koff-splat**

(Perdona mi)

Eet should be noted for the record, that een the follow up to the first piece, Kathleen Cochrane denies having broken down in tears. ("I was instantly laughing...") Also Becky ees shown having suffered no ill-effects from her ordeal.

Reached for comment, Becky said "I expressed myself rather forcefully, [and] felt better after I had done it,"

Oh, and as for why Kathleen Cochrane was ignoring the impatient and rapidly-becoming-cross ball of fur that she was holding, she says: "I just got into reporter mode"


Thees, then, ees emblematic of what ees wrong weeth so much of what passes for journalism these days.

But as to Kathleen, well, eef she can maintain that oblivious "reporter mode", and lie weeth a straight face about what we all saw on camera, I'm sure she has a long, prosperous career ahead of her on FOX.


I love the guy in the end the weather guy who HAD to get his diggs in.

"It's raining cats and dogs in some places. When the cat is growling you don't shake the cat! We are calling her cat woman, but she came through nice."

Just had to twist that knife didn't cha. That also shows that the right wing press, when given an opportunity to attack one of their own, will. At least some will. Others will be sympathetic to her face.
Oh, si... I love the part where she hurries through the end of the piece on the poor, murdered gatos, so she can get on to the complaining.

Cuz eet's all about her, don't joo know.

Like I said, a long, prosperous career ahead of her.


while reporting on extreme violence to animals, a reporter grasps an animal aggressively, shakes the animal up and down... neglects the growls and cries of protests of the animal, till the animal attacks the reporter, the reporter drops the animal and cries.... and then

lies about it... ba dum bum...
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